The "Oh, Edward, where art thou?" list

Edward is dreamy because:
* he has perfectly coiffed hair that is hilarious
* his skin sparkles
* he keeps the sexual tensions simmering but isn't a manslut
* every girl wants him as a boyfriend
* he never bites just because he's thirsty

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If you haven't been living under a rock, you know that there has been a huge vampire craze lately. With two young adult series and a new television show, people are all about the vampires. I know I'm fond of one in particular...

I think there is an unspoken law that if one teaches middle school English, then that person is required to be a huge Twilight fan. How else are you going to communicate with the eighth grade girls if you can't occasionally join in the wistful Edward-is-so-dreamy sighs? This is what I tell myself: the obsession is all in the name of being a supportive middle school instructor. That rationalizes my reading of the book, right?
The only way to keep from feeling like a huge teeny bopper is to reassure myself that I'm not the only adult female fan out there. An early f0rty-something teacher at my school once giggled to me that she tells her husband and children that she needs some "time with my boyfriend Edward" whenever she lays down to continue reading the fourth book. Her teenage daughter has only read the first two in the series. What is wrong with this picture? :)

I think my sister might even have this teacher beat, though! Here's a picture of her "vamping" it up for Halloween this past year (she even had snap-on fangs!):

Anyway, since Vampire love is kinda hot right now, I decided to try the hugely popular vampire series TruBlood by renting the first season. After all, how different from Twilight could it be if there was still a vampire-human relationship? (I was also happy that the television series' odd couple was slightly older and might have the chance of moving off first base at some point!)

Uhhh.... a warning to other fans: This show ain't like Twilight. There is no sparkling skin in the sunlight and no sensual almost-kiss scenes. While there were a few clever parts, I kind of felt like I needed a shower afterwards from watching a disturbing exorcism, a junkie having sex in an alley, and very graphic murder scenes. Dan, being a total guy, thought it was pretty great.

No offense to anyone who loves this series, though! I can certainly see why some would like the clever story lines, and I thought the acting was pretty solid. It just wasn't my cup of tea. In fact, I don't think it was the kind of series that people who say the antiquated phrase "cup of tea" would like!

(Side note: If you are planning on giving this show a try, stop reading now! I have one small spoiler.)

I know some people are obsessed with the Bill-Sookie relationship (the characters that some way are very much like Belle and Edward), but I just didn't get it. The juicy, spurting blood from neck wound during the otherwise passionate sex scene kind of turned my stomach. Oh, and during their post-coital snuggling, the protagonist Sookie said that she was weak from loss of blood, to which Bill, otherwise known as "NOT-Edward", responded with advice about her drinking energy drinks with electrolytes so he could "feed" on her more often. Ick!

Let's just put it this way...Edward would never do this.

Update:  Okay, I find this post kinda funny now because last summer my sister and I watched a ridiculous number of episodes over a pitcher of margaritas. :)  I guess initially I was thinking it would be something it wasn't, and once I accepted it as completely trashy, ridiculously bloody, kinda slutty, campy fun, I was on board.  :)