La Vida Lista Encyclopedia: Volume C

Before I was married, I had four (yes, four) C's in my first and last names. I love this letter!

But instead of giving a list of the many things that begin with C that I adore (Coldplay, chubby bunny, charming towns), I decided I would write a story I've been meaning to share for a while now instead. It's about cookies.

Comfort Food

Anyone who reads this blog knows that I lost my beloved Grammy about a month ago. When my sister and I traveled up to Massachusetts for the funeral, we kept discussing how much we missed her cookies. You see, my Grammy was a health-food nut who could tell you the caloric intake of eating an apple, but there was one treat that she did make... anise cookies.

These delicate little tea cakes with a subtle flavor of licorice are quite unlike any cookie ever. And they look like they are made for a party, all covered in icing and rainbow sprinkles. They are as sweet, delicate, fun, and old-school Italian as my Grammy herself. She would bake them for every family dinner, ever graduation, even every Christmas, neatly stacked in tupperware containers and mailed to us in Virginia. When we were little, my sister and I would lick the icing and sprinkles off each one 'cause that's the best part.

As we were in her little pink and blue house in Massachussetts getting ready for the wake, we were struck by how empty the house was. The absence of my grandmother was palpable. We desperately wanted to hear her laugh, hug her one last time, and eat another one of her cookies.

"Maybe she left a bag of them in the freezer?" my sister Bethany asked hopefully. But I knew even as she scoured the shelves that she wouldn't find any. My Grammy didn't keep sweets around unless there was a special occasion coming. Then, Bethany suggested that we make them ourselves, but we couldn't find the recipe. I guess Grammy knew it by heart after forty-some years of making them.

That afternoon, my family and a handful of other relatives went to my grandmother's wake, where I said my good-byes. We came home red-eyed and exhausted. There was a bag of comfort food and wine from our amazing Aunt Linda and cousin Lisa on the front porch. And what did we find at the bottom of the bag?

A plate of anise cookies.

My mom laughed as my sister and I immediately inhaled three of them each. I have to admit, I had to choke back tears when I tasted the licorice flavor. It was like a piece of my Grammy was back, right there in the kitchen with us, baking and taking care of us.

After the funeral, my sister and I went up to Aunt Linda who had baked the cookies. Our aunt is such a warm presence- loving, funny, and sassy, but even with her being all-around amazing, we were still shocked that she had remembered and baked Grammy's specialty, especially since Gram had almost always just made them for us, not friends and extended family. 

We crooned to her, "That was so thoughtful! You have no idea how much that meant to us! Grammy used to bake those cookies all the time."

I promise you all I'm not making up or embellishing her response...

Our aunt looked at us, completely bewildered for a minute and then responded with a grin, "Oh! So glad you guys like them. I didn't know Ann used to make anise cookies. Actually, I was baking pizzelles, and then I realized I was making the wrong dough. I looked through my recipe box and saw that I was making anise cookies, so I went out and bought anise and sprinkles and that's what I made."

Maybe it was just a coincidence, but it makes me smile to think that Grammy was and is still taking care of business from heaven. As my Dad said with a twinkle in his eye, "Grammy knew that her girls needed some of her cookies."  And if it was just a coincidence, it was such a nice one.  My Dad joked for the rest of the day that Aunt Linda was in direct contact with our guardian angel.  He smiled for the first time the entire weekend. 

Bethany and I polished off the enormous plate of cookies within two days. Cakey, soft, delicate, licorice, sprinkles, sweet... just like Grammy used to make. The ultimate comfort food.

(Pictures from here and here since I forgot to take photos of the ones we ate. A recipe can be found on first link.)