Monday, April 14, 2014

Spring Break For-Evah?

I'm so thankful that Dan's on spring break just so we can tag team take care of Coleson. 

 For some reason, our little man has been crazy fussy the past four days: fine for about thirty minutes and then he is arching his back, shrieking for food, refusing food, stuffing toys in his mouth, screaming when they don't fit, spitting out his pacifier, refusing teething rings.  No fever, taking Zantac regularly, we've been to the doctor six times about acid reflux and never get new advice, so we're kind of at a loss.  All day long the past four days has been a constant troubleshooting match:  when did he get up?  Is he tired?  Let's try a nap.  Let's try strapping him to us and walking around.  Let's give him a tiny bit more Zantac.  Let's leave him alone.  Let's try to cuddle.  Let's call the doctor. Let's put him in a vibrating seat... swing... chair... laying down... on his tummy.  Let's rotate his legs.  Let's try a different nipple size on the bottle.  Let's try gripe water.  Did you take his temperature?  Is he wet?  How about a bath?  Let's try going in our backyard and letting him have fresh air.  Let's try feeding him less at a time... more at a time... thickening it with rice... a new formula... maybe he's ready for food... how bout a cold wash cloth to chew on? 

I feel like a shitty mom when I can't console him, you know?  Fellow moms, I'm hoping some of you have dealt with this at some point.  It just seems like he gets more agitated when I hold him sometimes, not less.  I try him on my shoulder, I try him reclining, I sit him up on me, I rock him... he just squirms and gets more and more wired and slams his hand in his mouth and then screams.  I hate that breastfeeding didn't work for us and think of that every time he gurgles, wondering if he was drinking that liquid gold nectar of the gods that every study and doctor and La Leche League champion talks about ... that he just might be completely fine right about now.  I wonder if he would relax in my arms more.  I worry that we missed that bonding, something I wanted so desperately for us.  Then, I give him a bottle, and he takes a few sips and then chews the nipple and then fusses.  Eye rubbing.  I realize that since he refused to nap earlier that maybe he is just plain exhausted, so I sing him his lullaby (which he harmonizes with frustrated shrieks) and put him down.  He cries like his heart is broken, like he's just been dumped.  I go downstairs and turn an episode of Four Weddings up to max volume and cry into the couch cushions.

 Today, Dan left to take care of dealing with an issue with his Smart Tag pass and stayed out for two hours of quiet.   Later when it was my turn, I went to Old Navy to buy new socks and then the grocery for allergy medicine.  It was blissful.  

Not really asking for advice... I guess I just needed to vent and maybe see if this has happened to anyone else at five months (I thought we left extreme fussiness behind at eight weeks, but I guess I was wrong).  It's hard to see that this too shall pass when my little love is in pain...

8 comments:

Mrs. 5C said...

Babies are EVIL. TERRIBLE HATEFUL DEVIL SPAWN CREATURES. At least, Katherine was for a great majority of the first 9 months of her life. And boobs wouldn't fix it. She hated my boobs. She wanted to be swaddled and left alone, and if she was hungry, she wanted a bottle of whatever - didn't care if it was breast milk that I'd slaved over or generic Kroger formula. (Thanks, Kid.) Some weeks are hard. Really loud white noise, swaddling (until she was 9 months old), and blackout curtains kind of helped. But 9 months was the magical age where everything got SO MUCH BETTER. Stay strong!!! Glad you're taking turns having breaks. You deserve it! You need it!! :)

karen said...

Solidarity, sister.

Mason is doing The Exact. Same. Thing. Have no idea what to do. I keep telling myself that it will pass, and some days have been better, but ugh! It's exhausting and soul crushing (feeling like a bad mom). And I know it's not just crying, SOMETHING is up, he's shrieking like we are cutting off his leg.

I hear you. I'm with you. And I know it's hard. And I know it will get better.

karen said...

OH, and if it makes you feel any better, Mason has been exclusively breastfed, and he's still having the same issue. So, don't carry that guilt around if you don't need to. (alternatively, I am struggling with "if breastmilk is so great, why is he so unhappy?") These boys are just fussy. This too shall pass and all.

Anonymous said...

Any signs of teething? Hang in there, mama!! It will pass.

Mrs. 5C said...

hahaha!!! Gerber baby. They are SO. HATEFUL!!! Maybe he just really likes the pediatrician's office? ;)

Christen said...

I kinda love you all for writing in!!! Thank you! Today was so bad I drove him to the pediatrician and ugly cried while they told me he seemed fine (of course, he smiled and cooed when he was at the doctor's office like a damn Gerber baby commercial- ha ha!). We are trying a new formula, so fingers crossed!!

Aubrey said...

Awwww sorry I don't have any advice for you- but my fingers are crossed that this will pass soon! XO

Strand Family said...

I'm so sorry this is happening! Why do babies have to be on good behavior at the pediatricians office? It always made me feel like they were thinking "geez, this mom is a wimp. this isn't a hard baby!"

Have you tried water? I would get in the bath with Penny or take her to the swimming pool. It always seemed to help her calm down and get sleepy. I know some babies hate water but maybe worth a try.

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