"It's a beautiful day for...

an invasive, vaginal procedure!"

I kid, I kid.  I just kept saying that to Dan today right before my HSG today, and we kept laughing until we were almost sick.  Maybe it was the Valium I took, though? I was a little loopy.  Anyway, the sun was shining, it was a spring-like 60 degrees, and I was stuck inside having that fertility test I've put off for months, you know, the one that I made the mistake of Googling and then spent the next hour crossing my legs in sympathy pains.  Remember how I read comments like this on blogs all over the interweb??

Yesterday, I was further freaked out by a very well-meaning colleague who cornered me and whispered, "I heard from another teacher that you are having trouble conceiving.  If you ever need to talk, I've been through a similar experience."

Touched, I teared up and gave her a hug.  What perfect timing to have some encouragement right before my test!

But then she heard I was having the HSG done and continued, "Oh, yeah, mine was horrible!  I was allergic to the dye they used and broke out in hives, turned bright orange, and had to spend two nights in the hospital!"

Aghast, all I could think was: "I never even worried about the dye."  Damn, another thing to add to the worry list!

I laughingly told Dan about this later, and he said, "I know she meant well, but that's kind of the equivalent of trying to take over a crashing plane from a drunk pilot... but then drinking a fifth of bourbon yourself and directing the steering wheel straight at the ground!"

My husband has very weird analogies- ha ha!

His basic message:  She meant well, but only served to further terrify me.

Luckily, I had 800 mg of Ibuprofin and a Valium (which is enough to almost knock this girl out)... and  the sweetest family and friends, who texted and called.  Missy wrote to me from her hubby's phone, detailing the ultimate relaxation plan:

Bottom line: The procedure was crampy and awkward and downright painful at the end, but over in less than five minutes.  It was not horrific, thanks to the medicine.  The nurse and doctor were very sweet and patient.  Dan held my hand the entire time, which we laughed about later because the doctor and nurse must have been thinking, "If she's this much of a wuss with this, then she would be a nightmare with actually having a baby!" 

The best part?  Everything looks good!  I saw an X-ray of what's going on in there (which looked crazy different than the pages from the Health books in middle school, but whatever.  I guess nature is not as symmetrical.)  No blockages.

I came home, ate my favorite Thai dish, and watched In Her Shoes, which is one of my favorite fluffy movies.

It's weird to say I'm thankful for today, but I am. 

Thanks for anyone who wrote a comment about this previously!