Saturday, November 26, 2011

The dog that doesn't bark

This post may read a little like "Deep Thoughts with Christen" a la the old SNL sketch, but I recently read about a different type of gratitude, and it really resonated with me. Because it's still Thanksgiving weekend, I just had to share.

I was on the blog The Happiness Project and author Gretchen Rubin was talking about giving thanks when bad things don't happen, rather than only when good things do. She likened avoiding catastrophes to a Sherlock Holmes story where the sleuth uncovers a murderer because he realizes the nearby hound never barked, meaning that the villain had to be someone who knew the pooch. Rubin discussed that one of the foibles of people is that they will worry and worry about incoming test results or the phone ringing in middle of the night, but they rarely give notice when said test results are negative or loved ones stay safe. She urged people to give thanks for the "dog that doesn't bark"... for the bad things that never happen.

Giving thanks for when things turn out okay is such a simple concept. If I'm being totally honest, I think this article stuck with me because I have a black belt in worrying. For instance, I get a knot in my stomach before parent-teacher conferences lest I have a nasty parent who is batshit crazy, even though I've only met a very few like that in the eight years I've been working. I'm the one who tosses and turns until I have to get up to write out a "to do" list while Dan is snoring five minutes after his head hits the pillow. Too often, I will rehash conversations with people and worry whether I said the wrong thing and that some weird interaction will occur in the future. It suddenly hit me after reading Rubin's blog that I expend useless energy worrying as a type of superstitious warding off of bad things. Like a twisted version of the Field of Dreams quote, sometimes I really think: If I worry enough, it won't happen.

Often, the worry that was screaming in my head never comes to pass. You know, when the parent-teacher conference goes smoothly or the car inspection is all clear, I don't give it a second thought. Who notices the dog that doesn't bark? Rubin has a point about that being kind of a sad habit of people.

I've already posted about the car accident I was in two years ago that really shook me up. Some teenager on his cell phone ran a red light and smashed into my driver's side, propelling me into oncoming traffic. My car was totalled, but I walked away with only a few cuts and bruises. You can see in the pictures below there are shards of safety glass from the window that shattered:















That night, I took home a piece of the shattered window. It kind of looked like soothing, blue-green beach glass. It was my relic, a reminder of how thankful I needed to be for how that crash turned out, and give thanks for the people in my life. I was okay, I kept repeating to myself. The glass had cracks in it, and it eventually crumbled to bits when I picked it up, and I had to throw it out because it was just gravel at the bottom of my jewelry box, but Rubin's post kind of brought that feeling of gratitude back.

Dan and I didn't put slips in the thankful jar about things that turned out okay, but I have countless ones. For the home owners' annoyances we've never had to deal with. For the scary interactions and sad experiences we've never gone through. For the happiness, health, and safety of Dan and me, our friends, and family. Thank goodness for every metaphorical dog that didn't bark.

The End of "Deep thoughts with Christen"- ha ha! :) Does this concept resonate with any of you?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Rainbows, Stickers, and Moscato wine

Those are just a few things that made it on our thankful list. But more on that in a second.


Excuse the blog hiatus. We've had a flurry of annoyances as of late keeping us busy. These include our boiler breaking, three car repairs, trying to track down the owners of a lost dog we found, and a bizarre night where we woke up at three in the morning to the sounds of our drunk next door neighbor screaming obscenities and smashing our other neighbor's car with rocks for no apparent reason. It's been an odd few weeks.

But it's Thanksgiving and there is so much to be grateful for, so you'll hear no more bitching from me! Dan and I did our thankful jar again this year. It's our new tradition slip notes in the jar all month without reading what the other wrote, and then on Thanksgiving we empty the jar and share.



What were we thankful for this year? Each other, family, friends, our home, jobs, health... so much. Below are a few smaller things.
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A few of my notes in the jar:


The double rainbow I saw on the way to school

Getting to ride together to work


When I tried to persuade you that the new Pottery Barn rug would pull everything together in the living room and you dead-panned, "I know! It will probably also help me to grow more hair and a larger penis. We need that rug!" You never fail to crack me up.

Pear, goat cheese, and bacon sandwich from Stir Crazy Coffee Shop

Brunch with Missy and Mali and finding a cute bomber jacket during our shopping trip afterwards

Getting my "I voted" sticker after you guilt tripped me into voting after my long day. (You're right... I did feel like a good citizen!)

For the beautiful fall foliage in our neighborhood

Pretty walk to coffee shop with Kate

On Parks and Rec when Ron Swanson said, "My religion? I'm a practicing none-of-your-f*$&ing business." SIDE NOTE: If you don't watch Parks and Rec, you need to.
Asking you a million questions during Silence of the Lambs, which turned out to be a great movie! I'm glad you talked me into finally watching it.


My sister Bethany came in town for a visit, and here's what she put in the jar:
I am thankful for a wonderful sister who loves Moscato wine and tucks me in bed when I'm stressed. (Yes, I apparently have TERRIBLE taste in wine. It's my secret shame.)

I am thankful for a brother-in-law who I am proud to show off to my friends.

And lastly, a few of Dan's notes:
How you make me laugh when you get the "Sunday Blues".

(Basically, he thinks it's hilarious that I get mopey around 7:00

every Sunday when I realize the weekend is over.)
That we found the owners of Suzie (the dog we found)

I got question right on Final Jeopardy when none of the contestants did

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Our Thanksgiving was low key and wonderful. My family just met up with my godparents' family at Maggiano's for a clean-up free indulgence fest. Below is a picture of Bethany and me with our godsister and her adorable, little boy. Photobucket


Afterwards, Bethany and I snickered through Breaking Dawn, a favorite guilty pleasure. Good times :)

The tryptophan from leftover turkey has officially taken over, so I'm off to bed. My mom and sister have persuaded me to brave the Black Friday crowds tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. Any survival tips from black belt shoppers?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Last of Halloween

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I promised that I would share the new recipes I tried, so this post will be a quick one!

We went out to dinner with two other couples for dinner and then came back to drink, watch scary movies, and have dessert. This year, I tried three new recipes that I found on Pinterest:

A can of pumpkin + a box of spice mix = easiest pumpkin cupcakes ever. I got this recipe off Pinterest from a friend... so good! I decorated these guys with candy corn fangs:




I made marshmallow pops (which I later wrapped and gave to trick or treaters too):





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It's not even complicated enough to describe, but I will anyway. Easy steps include buying jumbo marshmallow and putting a stick in them:



Dip in orange chocolate and let cool. Then dip in yellow chocolate and let dry.




They look pretty but are like the real candy corn... sugar overload.
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Lastly, my favorite thing were these whoopie pies that I used a simple Duncan Hines kit to make.
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Damn do I ever need to get to the gym after this diabetic sugar coma...
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