Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

I believe because he made one of my husband's biggest wishes come true. And on Christmas Eve at that. Nice work, Santa.

Dan has been in a fantasy football league for the past seven years. Each September, he shells out 100 bucks in order to join the trash talk and male bonding that is fantasy football. He seems to forget that I know nothing about sports and agonizes over who to start each week to me. Anyway, he is the complete underdog. He has come in last place twice and almost last several other times. He's even been forced to work the fantasy football board at their draft, which is the equivalent of being the "asshole" in the popular college drinking game by the same title. Dan and his friends are pretty merciless at heckling one another, so when he was in last place there was no shortage of comments requesting that he turn in his "man card". In short, he had no where to go but up.

By the way, if you are like me and totally unathletic and are about to stop reading, I promise that is the extent that I will discuss fantasy football. I'm also going to end with belated pictures of my holiday decor. Stick with it. You're almost done.

Somehow, Dan made it to the final "superbowl" in his fantasy league this year. The culminating "game" was on Christmas Eve. (Notice the over-use of quotation marks as fantasy football is still crazy confusing to me). He kept sneaking peaks at the computer to see the score in between opening fabulous gifts and our decadent crabcake dinner. When he realized that he had squeaked by a win, he launched into a full-on happy dance complete with fist pumping. The conversation went like this:

Dan: YES!

My mom: What's going on?!

Dan: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Me: Hit refresh to make sure.

My dad: Did you win?

Dan: WHOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!

Me: You did it? You actually won?

Dan: YUHHH HUHHHH! *&%* yeah!!!!! WOOO

Me: Seriously? That's great, hon!

Dan: HOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Yes, on that magical Christmas Eve, my husband couldn't stop himself from relishing in his win. His text to his friends that night?

Merry Christmas and a happy new year, from your league's champion!

Hope you all suck less in 2012.

On second thought, maybe Santa created a monster...

As promised, I thought I'd share a few rather blurry photos of my holiday decor to inject some estrogen into this post:

If these twelve days of Christmas plates don't counterbalance all the football talk, I don't know what will...

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday with your families!

Traditions by Number

The eternally annoying "12 Days of Christmas" song breaks down the holiday into numbers. I guess nothing gets the party started like seven swans 'a swimming and six geese 'a laying and FIVE gooold-en rings!

In honor of my five favorite holiday traditions, I thought I would do the same thing.

Behold, my holiday traditions list by numbers:

1.5- number of hours spent at the ballet

24- number of songs in "The Nutcracker"

3- number of times my sister and I giggled after making inappropriate comments while ogling the hot men in oh-so-tight tights

28- number of feet in The Jefferson's Christmas tree

350- number of pounds of gingerbread used in the gingerbread house we saw this year

1,500- number of gum drops on said gingerbread house

2- number of hungry teachers after leering at this gingerbread house

40,000- estimated number of lights on our favorite tacky Christmas house

30- number of peanut butter cookies I baked for Christmas

0- number of peanut butter cookies remaining as of 12/19

And here is a breakdown of these traditions:

1. Watch The Nutcracker

My mom used to take my sister and me most years after buying us our new holiday dresses. It's a tradition that I still love with all its swelling music, glittery tutus, and adorable kids. This year, I dressed up and went with my sister, the ultimate girly night.

2. Visit the Jefferson Hotel

Dan and I always visit this a five star hotel in downtown Richmond each year to take in their decorations. Its known for top-notch service, a gorgeous staircase... and the fact that it used to have an alligator that lived in its indoor fountain. (Yes, really. I know- very weird and exotic and kind of creepy...) Now that the last one passed away in 1948, they just have this guy, decorated in his Christmas best:

Anyone who reads my blog knows my husband is a sucker for embarrassingly cheesy photos. Here's the one he demanded that I take:

Anyway...

We always stop to see the giant Christmas tree,


and the other Christmas decorations,
and see the gingerbread house, which deserves its own category, so proceed to #3:

3. Smell the gingerbread house

They have to rope it off to keep the ravenous away...

Yes, this is still at the Jefferson Hotel. Every year, a local team of bakers makes a new life-size gingerbread house fit for Hansel and Gretel.

Not sure if you can read this sign, but here are some of the facts about this creation:

And here is the front door:
Isn't all the intricate candy decor amazing?

This year, the bakers even made a wedding cake snow man out front:

And a cake Christmas tree:

Who's hungry?

This ends our trip to The Jefferson, but brings us to our next free holiday activity:

4. The Tacky Light Tour

Dan always maps out the houses with the most wattage, and we check them all out.

(Picture via here since mine didn't come out that well)

This year, Bethany came along with us to our favorite ones:
The owners lost a son, who adored Christmas lights even as an adult. To memorialize him, they put out a plague and drape their home in every light and decoration possible. It has always touched Dan and me as a true labor of love.

It takes our breath away every year.

Moving on to our last tradition, which takes place at home:

5. I bake cookies, and Dan helps eat them. Don't think this tradition needs much clarification!


See this post for the recipes. Don't say I didn't warn you about the dangerous nature of the cranberry-white chocolate ones...

So there you have my favorite traditions by number! So much better than a partridge in a pear tree, right?

Thanks to The NewlyWoodwards Blog for hosting a Linky Party about favorite holiday traditions! Fun idea!
Oh, and just because I have time to do stupid stuff like this, check out this video of Dan and me dancing our little elf butts off! (Dan is very limber as an elf...)
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/eRReidWkD2uHkYkB
Enjoy!

Surprise Christmas

Each year, I buy less and less surprise presents. And I'm okay with that.

It was so easy when I was a kid and I could make an ornament or spend my allowance on something random from the Dollar Tree, and it was considered cute that I tried. Now, things are more complicated. What size neck does my Dad wear in shirts again? Does my sister think ankle boots are cute, or would she rather a gift card? Lotions smell different on every person; does my mom want the brown sugar scent or the apricot one? What do I (a hopelessly girly girl) know about shopping for my sister's ju-jitsu trainer boyfriend?

Enter: The Family Gift Message Board

That's right. My family and I have gotten to the point where we make it crystal clear what we want for Christmas, even posting on an online message board uber-specific possible gift ideas. The message board is our version of "Shopping for Dummies", and while our method of buying gifts certainly won't be the center of a Charlie Brown Christmas special anytime soon... it works for us.

Still, it's kind of funny reading through our particular lists, especially the side comments we write in to clarify. For your reading pleasure:

A few of my mom's wishes:

* tan wrap around sweater (Kohl's has a nice one)
* black boots (sorry guys—Bethany already got me these)
* Body and Bath Works Jasmine Vanilla body lotion (aromatherapy)or brown sugar and fig (I think you can order the latter online)

A few of Dan's:

* A new golf club ("Christen, we could go to Golf Galaxy to pick this out...")
* Core Performance Golf: The Revolutionary Training and Nutrition Program for Success On and Off the Course By Mark Verstegen, Pete Williams Pete Williams
* a leaf blower

Perhaps my favorite of all is my dad's list, which brings specificity to a Hall of Fame level! I mean, he even gave ideas of stocking stuffers!

Black belt (1 ½ inch wide, size 34)
Brown belt (1 ½ inch wide, size 34)
Stocking stuffers: dress socks (black) [I know ask for these each year, but I couldn’t resist]; airborne, travel size toiletries
Kangol Wool 504 Cap (black, size medium)

Yeah, it may not be a surprise, but I was able to order his gift in under five seconds.

Fa la la la la La la la la!

Don't think that I'm any better just because I didn't post my own list. This is my blog, so I can choose not to include my choosiness. But guess who sets up the message board every year...
Back to the gifts, can you guess which one I chose for Dan??

Even if my husband hadn't actually driven to the store with me and picked out his own present, he would have been able to guess from the hilariously obvious wrapping. Need another hint? I'm sure you don't, but here's what I caught Dan doing earlier today:

I wouldn't have been surprised if he had called out "Fore!" after hitting his imaginary ball. A man's gotta practice his stance somewhere when the weather is frightful outside. :)

Why am I writing to tell you all this? Well, Dan's sister Emily through a wrench into my safe, Christmas shopping world this year.

She declared "Surprise Christmas".

You see, his side of the family may not have a psychotically-organized message board, but we still always e-mail one another with a few ideas every year. Emily decided she had had enough with giving each other gifts that we had requested. She wanted surprises and encouraged others to do the same. Dan and I were sneakily able to wrangle a few hints from his mom and brother about what they wanted, but no matter how many times we e-mailed, we had nothing on Emily or her boyfriend.

It took forever (FOR-EVER) to find her and her boyfriend gifts, but we finally managed and I'm pretty happy with what we finally picked up! And I have to say that while the whole "surprise Christmas" concept won't ever fly in my family, it definitely got my creative juices flowing. I found three hilarious gag gifts for people and even hand made one of my sister's gifts, which embodies an inside joke we've had for over 20 years. I'd love to share, but she (occasionally-every-blue-moon) reads my blog, so it will have to be later.

After all, it is a surprise. :)